hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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