i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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