Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
