So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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