But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
