I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
