I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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