new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
