I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
