We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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