Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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