im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
