sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
