It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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