I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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