I smell stomach acid.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Be still, my beating vagina.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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