Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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