Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
home. puking in laundry basket.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
