So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
