Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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