so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
