It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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