Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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