Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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