Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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