needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
