so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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