There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
