Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
