Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
