We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
