Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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