Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
