kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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