You made me cry and you don't even care
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
