Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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