and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Blood and glitter go together right?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
