saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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