i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
