and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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