you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
