When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
