Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
