So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
