honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
thus making me awesome and them whores
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
