I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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