Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
