you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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