seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
