No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
God, I missed his penis.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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