I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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