You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
