Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
