I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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