i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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