he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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