My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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